[picturebooks] Gay Pride starter set

Last June, a friend was struggling to explain Pride to one of her kids, and I offered to curate a list of picturebook recommendations (obviously).

This isn't an intro to queer concepts/identities broadly, but specifically an intro to Pride -- the parade, etc.

Below is a lightly edited version of the rec list I sent.

Pride Colors (2019) by Robin Stevenson -- board book

I don't think this does as good a job explaining the colors of the pride flag as the Our Rainbow board book (which also includes "Black and Brown for Diversity and Inclusivity"), but it more explicitly conveys the vibes of LGBTQ+ acceptance -- with lines like "Be yourself. Love who you choose." and "I'll love the person you grow to be." as well as images of what appear to be 2 moms and 2 dads holding a kid and lots of rainbows. It also has photographs of litle kids -- which babies love.

It's Pride, Baby! (2024) written by Allen R. Wells (he/him) & illustrated by Dia Valle [last name pronounced "Vah-yay"] (he/they) -- both are Black and from the U.S. South

This is about DC Black [Gay] Pride. Protagonist appears to be a Black daughter of 2 Black dads (one of whom is maybe trans?).

I'm kinda meh on the text, but I like that it exists as a book with an entirely Black family (most of the Pride books I've seen are intentionally interracial -- with a Black/brown parent and a white parent; sadly there's very little AAPI rep in queer picturebooks -- but often have a white or light-skinned protagonist kid), and I learned about D.C. Black Pride, which was new to me.

The book is addressed to a child, and one line is, "I am happy with you / And whomever you choose. / Whether it's him / Or her / Or them-- / You Love." Good job normalizing singular they AND polyamory :) (Though the latter is maybe unintentional, since no polyam flags appear in the book.)

There's a couple pages of backmatter that briefly overview DC Black Pride, followed by a page of Pride flags (with identifiers) and some brief tips on "How to support a child who's coming out as LGBTQIA+".

Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag (2018) written by Rob Sanders & illustrated by Steven Salerno -- bios indicate each uses "he" pronouns

Per the title, this book focuses on Harvey Milk and the creation of the rainbow flag as a Gay Pride symbol (at the time, the pink triangle was the primary symbol used by the community -- which was an act of reclamation, but still, many people understandably wanted something with more positive associations; this is alluded to in the text, but it's only in the backmatter that you learn what the symbol at the time actually was).  

There's a 2-page spread of lots of people holding rainbow flags, including a cop, which I don't love, but that's the only real pro-cop moment in the book.

I don't know how your kids are about death, but there is a brief mention of the assassination of Harvey Milk and George Moscone.

A little bit more text-heavy than the other books listed here, but not too much so (though obviously I don't know your kids' reading attention span).

There are a few pages of backmatter, including a Harvey Milk timeline and a Rainbow Flag timeline.

'Twas the Night Before Pride (2022) writtten by Joanna McClintick & illustrated by Juana Medina -- bios indicate each uses "she" pronouns and has a wife; Medina is from Colombia

As the title suggests, the structure of this riffs on the poem that starts "'Twas the night before Christmas" (but is actually officially titled "A Visit from St. Nicholas"). The rhythm mostly works and there are only a couple odd rhyme choices.

The family is getting ready for Pride the next day, and one of the kids asks the moms to tell the story of the history of Pride.

I really appreciate how much this book makes it clear that the police were the bad guys at Stonewall.  (The book also says "queer" in the text, which feels unusual to me for picturebooks.)

Protagonist family is a Black mom and a white mom with Black/brown kids (one walking, one baby).

Granddad's Pride (2023) written and illustrated by Harry Woodgate (they/them)

This is a sweet story about a kid visiting their (gay) grandfather and learning some about Pride and starting a Pride celebration in the grandfather's small coastal town.

(Kid is brown, grandfather is white, couples are interracial.)

Pride Puppy! (2021 hardcover, 2024 board book) written by Robin Stevenson & illustrated by Julie McLaughlin -- bios indicate both use "she" pronouns and are Canadian

This book is not particularly educational about Pride, but it's really fun.  It's in part an alphabet book, and each page you can stop and look for more items that start with that letter (if that's enjoyable and developmentally possible for your kid). 

Interracial family with 2 ~moms, a walking kid (who is lighter skinned), a baby (who is browner), a dog (and a cat, who does not come to the Pride parade).

"They were off my path so I never had dared"

(1) This post makes me want to see the movie Jennifer's Body.

(2) A friend of mine recently linked to this this NY Times article on prayer which has one paragraph which, as she put it, "basically plagiarizes inaccurately paraphrases closely adapts an excerpt from this 2008 news article" (and I'm here quoting from the 2008 article):

Among the most innovative -- and controversial -- aspects of the Siddur soon to be released by San Francisco's main gay synagogue is a prayer for "unexpected intimacy." The new prayer is intended for meaningful encounters with strangers, including, according to some involved in the project, anonymous sexual relations.

It is featured in the forthcoming Siddur created by Congregation Sha'ar Zahav, a 31-year-old synagogue in San Francisco affiliated with the Reform movement.

"In the dark, in a strange place, our father Jacob encountered a stranger with whom he grappled all night," the prayer begins, referring to the biblical story of Jacob wrestling with the angel. "He never knew the stranger's name, yet their encounter was a blessing, which turned Jacob into Israel and made him realize, I have seen God face-to-face."

The prayer, titled "Kavannah for Unexpected Intimacy," goes on to ask God -- "who created passion and wove it throughout creation" -- to permit the encounter to be a blessing "that allows us to both touch and see the Divine."

[...]

Ramer, who describes himself as "fiercely monogamous," stressed that the prayer was not intended solely for gays and lesbians. He also emphasized that it need not refer solely to encounters of a sexual nature, but to any exchange with a stranger that was deemed meaningful.

"Isn't this one of the things we're told the most, to honor strangers?" Ramer asked. "In an anonymous act, this is our chance to recognize the sacredness."

I have thoughts on the NYT prayer article, but I'm much more struck by the stranger-encounter prayer idea.  My friend suggests that the question we ask (and not just about sexual ethics) shouldn't be about Right/Wrong but rather should be, "How can this activity reflect and deepen the presence of God in my life and the world?"

[queer] big tent

A friend of mine emailed me this afternoon:

How do you feel about asexuals joining the bisexual community?
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/08/24/MNC6194GN4.DTL&type=gaylesbian

[flippant second paragraph redacted for public consumption]

My reply:

I think in some ways it makes sense for members of sexual minorities to coalition together. In some ways, including asexuals arguably makes MORE sense than including transgender folks -- since gender identity/expression and sexual orientation are very different issues (though they certainly have overlap).

Of course, there is the problem of diluting the "queer" label ("queer" being my preferred term for the GLBTetc. umbrella) -- see also discussions of whether "kink" (BDSM, etc.) is "queer" even when the participants are hetero (marginalized sexual minority, yes, but...). The actual, practical, oppression/discrimination/etc. against queer people doesn't map so well on to asexual/kinky/poly/etc. folks (though there is some overlap of issues -- obviously in wanting one's sexual identity to be understood and accepted by the mainstream but also not wanting it to be illegal -- this maps most clearly onto kink, though the marriage issue is also clearly relevant to some poly folk).