I made some preliminary recommendations based on my memory and then started digging through assorted tags ("shelves") on my GoodReads (and yes, I know, I should move to StoryGraph) to come up with more thorough recommendations.
This is not a complete list of every acceptable (or even good) book about trans identity I've ever read. I definitely added more books to my TBR list in this process, and am of course always open to recommendations (and am also happy to field questions about books I have read that aren't on this recs list; I curbed my impulse to include a Not Recommended appendix 😂).
I included the publication year (and publisher), since I know queer lit can often feel dated as Discourse, language, etc. changes. I also tried to flag the identities of the authors as far as I knew, since I want to mainly center trans voices.
picturebooks
general
It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity (2019, Macmillan) written by Theresa Thorn & illustrated by Noah Grigni [Written by the mother of a transgender child and illustrated by a non-binary artist.]non-binaryGod bless this book. It's a little teachy, but the illustrations are colorful, and the text is fairly simple. It introduces kids to concepts around gender identity, and it's really good.I don't love Maya Gonzalez' work, but They, She, He: Easy as ABC (2019, Reflection Press) isn't too bad (the purple dancing one, as opposed to the green narrative-less one). [#OwnVoices note: I think the co-authors are cis?]It's an alphabet book, and each letter is a rhyming couplet about a different child being active in some way -- so you get to practice various pronouns, because the kid gets named in the first line (the alphabet letter) and then is referred to in the third person in the second line.One failing: as with They She He Me: Free to Be! (the 2017 green book, which is mostly just a series of illustrations of people with accompanying pronouns, and then a bunch of backmatter), there isn't really any modeling of how one declines these pronouns -- two people use "ze," but neither time does the couplet use it other than in the "ze" form.
Stacey's Not a Girl (2017) written by Colt Keo-Meier & illustrated by Jesse Yang [re: #OwnVoices, the author is a trans man, and the back cover indicates: "Elements of this story come from each transgender man who contributed to this book, loved ones, and fellow community members."]trans-masc (both written by the same trans man author, who I believe is white)trans-masculine kid who may or may not be non-binary, and not-knowing is OKAY ♥This book is very much About being non-binary, but I think it pulls it off pretty well. And it includes a lot of information in a way that feels really child-appropriate, in addition to not feeling Too Teachy.
The Great Space Adventure (2019, Flamingo Rampant) written by Ryka Aoki [a Japanese American trans woman] & illustrated by Cai Steele
-- an Asian kid who contains multitudes goes on a fantastic journeyNande likes their long hair and their short hair. "Nande liked to twirl and be big. Nande liked to hide and be small."People are constantly asking Nande "Why?" but the Moon never does -- and the Moon is changeable like Nande. "The Moon would be dark, then crescent, grow full, then back again. On some nights, the moon seemed almost still. On others, the moon would wander across the sky."
I already loved this book for that metaphor.
We then follow Nande and the Moon on a journey to visit various planets -- which are personified in various different racial/gender configurations (one even uses a wheelchair!), and each of whom has a personality element in common with Nande.
When Aidan Became a Brother (2019, Lee & Low) written by Kyle Lukoff & illustrated by Kaylani Juanitatrans-fem
-- Aidan is a (brown) trans boy, and he wants to make sure everything is perfect for his new sibling-to-be; MY HEART!Call Me Max (Max and Friends #1) (2019, Reycraft Books) written by Kyle Lukoff & illustrated by Luciano Lozano
This book is such a delight! It starts off Educational, but quickly pivots to education-by-way-of-narrative in a way that I think works well. It hits all the major points in a way that feels organic to our protagonist child's school experience and doesn't feel like just checking off boxes. There's conflict, but just enough to move the story along, and honestly I appreciate stories about trans kids where everyone is basically supportive. It's such good modeling for trans kids of how things can be, and for everyone else about how to do the right thing.Max is white, but his two closest friends are brown and also gender non-conforming. Max's trans-ness is much more incidental in the next two books, but his [Black, male] friend Steven's penchant for wearing fancy dresses etc. comes up a lot in the next book, Max and the Talent Show. Gender non-conformity does not equal trans, so I'm mostly not including the "princess boy/sparkle boy" vein of books in this list, but I did want to mention this book while I was glossing the other books in this series.
My Rainbow (2020, Penguin Random House) written by Trinity Neal and Deshanna Neal & illustrated by Art Twink -- autistic Black trans girl (co-authored by said girl and her mother)middle gradeBased on the authors' own experience, Trinity is an autistic Black trans girl who wants long hair but has sensory sensitivities. This book covers a lot, but also has a clear narrative throughline, and doesn't feel like too much.The Adventures of Tulip, Birthday Wish Fairy (2012, Flamingo Rampant) written by S. Bear Bergman [a trans man] & illustrated by Suzy Malik
Tulip receives a Birthday Wish from a trans kid, and I didn't love that Tulip is initially confused, but it does allow for some gentle in-story teaching as The Wish Fairy Captain very matter-of-factly (and gently, at a kid-appropriate level but not dumbing down or oversimplifying) explains -- and provides excellent modeling like, "we're going to help her. We start by calling her by the name she chose, Daniela. It shows we like her and believe in her."
Magical Princess Harriet (2018, Dag Gadol) by Rabbi Leiah Moser [who I think is an autistic trans woman]adult (mostly nonfiction)A Jewish kid entering 7th grade learns she's a princess (which helps her figure out she's really a girl, not a boy) and nephilim are trying to take over her town. Her best friend is an autistic girl, and they make friends with a goth boy. #TagYourself
Not a joke, though, I really enjoyed this book.[graphic novel] The Prince and the Dressmaker (2018, Macmillan) by Jen Wang (who I think is cis?)
One of my friends said, "It's sweet and gentle and a really wonderful look at one way to be gender non-conforming. It's also about being a good friend and chasing your dreams, supporting others, and finding the right balance between personal needs and friendship." Which is a great summation of this book.(Yes, I know I said I wasn't gonna include gender non-conforming rep in this list -- but this book has such a place in my heart as my genderfluid/genderqueer/maybe-a-trans-girl femme fashion partner bought this in the gift shop after we went to a Gender Bending Fashion exhibit. Also, fwiw, according to Wikipedia:
Wang wrote the character of Sebastian/Crystallia as "someone who identifies with different modes of gender expression and is comfortable alternating between both masculine and feminine", noting that she might call the character genderqueer but that other interpretations of the character's relationship to their gender presented by readers were also valid. )
Trans Allyship Workbook: Building Skills to Support Trans People in Our Lives (Revised, updated and expanded for 2017; Think Again Training) by Davey Shlasko [who is a trans person]
-- This has a lot more reading text than I was expecting from something billed as a "workbook," but it's solid. Chapter 4, on pronouns, is the most obvious reason to recommend/read this book.Fucking Trans Women (Issue #0) (2010) by Mira Bellwether -- ebook/PDF of an 80-page zine by a trans woman
-- I'm bummed the future issues (with writings from other people) never got made, but this is still pretty great. The "soft bodies" essay is so relevant for everyone, not just trans women and the people who fuck them. Also, I learned a fun new way to fuck people who have inguinal canals.Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity by Julia Serano (2007/2016, Seal Press)
-- Okay, I haven't read the second edition yet (and I read the first edition back in like 2008? 2013?), but I remember it being good.The Soul of the Stranger: Reading God and Torah from a Transgender Perspective (2018, Brandeis University Press) by Joy Ladin (a Jewish trans woman)
-- I think Ladin's perspective on reading texts from a trans perspective is really interesting even if you aren't interested in these particular texts. She's not asserting that these characters are trans, but that they share experiences in common with many trans folks. As examples, one reviewer lists: "How did Abraham’s rejection of his responsibilities as Terach’s firstborn son, or Jacob’s claiming of his brother’s birthright, impact how they related to those around them, and to their culture’s understanding of masculinity? Can we explore the tension of the Golden Calf incident as arising from the Israelites’ discomfort with a God who refused to be embodied in a way that made them comfortable?"[memoir] Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More (2014, Simon & Schuster) by Janet Mock (a Black, mixed-race trans woman)
When I read this book in 2014, I felt familiar with trans narratives, but I hadn't thought a lot about how trans adolescents navigate their worlds, and that section of the book gave me a greater understanding of what social transition entails. The section about sex work also really helped me internalize more fully the fact that some women have penises.I also wrote at the time:
As someone who spends a lot of time around people who are at the edge of contemporary language/thinking around gender, I appreciated how up-to-date her language feels. At the same time, it's mostly not super-obviously a teaching book -- except for the high school chapter (chapter 11), which is full of advice to adults, which feels appropriate. (At bookclub, someone raised the issue of how Grownup Janet is always explaining the story, and I think it's true that the adult voice -- the voice of someone who has done a lot of maturing and learning since many of the events of the book -- provides some distancing to the narrative.)[poetry] A Place Called No Homeland (2017, Arsenal Pulp Press) by Kai Cheng Thom (a queer Asian-Canadian trans femme)
-- note that there are definitely dark themes in many of these poems (sexual assault and gendered and racialized violence)